Milestone Development


Have you ever felt unjustly judged? Have you ever wondered how people could say or think certain things about you without even knowing you or knowing why, where, who, what etc – the facts? In other words your reasons for being who you are or making the decisions that you do.  On the flip side,  Have you ever found yourself looking at someone and thinking something negative? Have you ever found yourself making statements about how someone should live their life?  Have you ever found yourself judging a situation or person without knowing the full details of their story or history?  WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE! We all hate to be judged but then why do we judge others?

We all judge people and situations based on how we were taught to see the world and other people – our upbringing, our experiences, our paths.  Naturally everyone has a unique and different experience and therefore judges people and situations based on their knowledge or lack thereof. When we meet someone for the first time, we judge them; their demeanour, presentation of themselves, hair, make-up, outfit etc. We start to assume things about this person and make judgements that can either be harsh or positive. It is unfortunate as these opinions we form can be so off base.  As the saying goes “never judge a book by its cover!”

Every person you meet has something special to give you—that is, if you are open to receiving it. Each encounter offers you the gift of greater self-awareness by illustrating what you do and don’t accept about yourself. An honest look will show you that the reactions you have to others give you more information about yourself than about them.

One of my greatest lessons to date was learning NOT to judge people. One of my biggest teachers of this lesson was a friend. Our culture perpetuates negative judgement of others, so I always felt justified in judging people. This was one of my most painful lessons in life where I lost friends because I so harshly judged their situation without all the facts. This was a true blessing and gift from above as it taught me that until you walk in someone’s shoes, feel what they feel, experience what they experience, come from their environment and have their upbringing, no one can truly judge any situation or person.  Thankfully I got the message and am grateful to have them back in my life.  I would have missed out on so many wonderful memories had I not learned this valuable lesson of NOT JUDGING PEOPLE.

We need to let people be free to live their lives without criticism, harsh judgement and ridicule.  Imagine what a wonderful planet this would be to live on if we all attempted to keep our judgement in check. People would be more self-confident, display less insecurity, exhibit more creativity, be more self-assured, have less anxiety, and generally feel more at peace to be themselves.

Many years ago I made a pact with myself to stop judging people and situations. It is still a work in progress but I am winning the battle. Don’t judge me or your neighbour as we all walk a different path and have our own lessons to learn on our journey.

Now let’s all be free to live our authentic lives!

Written by Lisa Charles

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