I have been thinking a lot lately about girls/women with Daddy Issues. Seeing a video this past week of Lil Wayne’s song “How to Love” hit a soft spot as there are so many women walking around today that lack that unconditional love from Daddy. If you didn’t already know, a girls first love is her father. Daddy teaches her how to love, how to be loved, how to be treated by a man, how to be respected by a man, how to respect herself and demand respect in a relationship, how to value herself and know her worth as a woman, how to spot the players from afar and recognize the real men and the list goes on.
Daddy plays such a critical role in a girls childhood which can determine the course of a woman’s life. Girls who lack that bond, closeness, love and caring from their fathers oftentimes grow up to become women with serious Daddy issues. Classic signs of these issues are: women who are needy, insecure about themselves, have emotional hang ups, seek attention mainly from men, have low self esteem, lack of trust in men, and the most prominent sign is promiscuity..usually a girl who has not developed a good and strong relationship with her father will indeed sleep around in search of the love and bonding she didn’t receive from her father.
Unfortunately these issues are passed on to their relationships with their partners as they become adults. These women tend to look for the father figures they lacked growing up and this can be very destructive to a relationship. It is unfair to place that responsibility on any man in a relationship and is a sure sign that they are headed for a rocky road.
There are also those daddy issues that men face with absentee fathers but that is for another blog….In the Lil Wayne video it illustrates 2 scenarios; one where the young daughter is brought up by her mother in a unstable environment, with an absentee father in jail, and her Mom’s boyfriend molesting her. The daughter then grows up to be an unhappy woman, stripping to support her 3 children and basically leads a promiscuous lifestyle. In the second scenario the Mother gives up her daughter to her sister who lives a more stable lifestyle and she is able to experience real love, family, stability, and ultimate happiness. The outcome of her life is very different where her focus is on education and learning a trade. This video is indicative of what role parents play in the outcome of a child’s life. The decisions we make for our children make such a difference and have such a strong impact on what path our children take in life. This does not mean that in each circumstance that if we as parents do the right thing, and give our children unconditional love, affection and attention that they will always choose the right path in life, however giving them a solid loving foundation can only be the best possible start in life.
Fathers who are absent, negligent, abusive (verbally & physically), alcoholics, workaholics, tend to have daughters that develop daddy issues. The cycle is then passed on to another generation and surfaces as dysfunction within a family and corrupting any chance for a solid family foundation.
Fathers, love your girls unconditionally, show them by example how a woman should be treated and respected, boost their self esteem and self confidence, spend time with them, teach them to respect themselves and their bodies, let them know their worth, tell them they are beautiful, tell them they are smart and above all else tell them they deserve the BEST! This may not result in each instance with your daughter avoiding the many issues that accompany raising a child, however it will give her the best possible chance in life to avoid Daddy issues, experience real love, and carry that forward.
Fathers….Always remember you are your little girls first LOVE
Written by Lisa Charles